Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
