i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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