I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
