Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
