My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Randomize
