Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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