Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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