I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
