he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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