You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
