I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
