Kareoke will never be a sober sport
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
And then my night got REAL pukey
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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