yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
