Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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