I would go down on you faster than GM stock
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
