it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
