I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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