he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
did you just send me my own nude
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
