I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
