I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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