well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
