Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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