Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
