Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
