and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
