So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
