Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
