hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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