just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
