I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
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