escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize