just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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