I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
