If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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