Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
