Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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