Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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