Do vagina's smell?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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