pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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