dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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