just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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