i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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