so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize