I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Just cropdusted the office
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
