a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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