Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize