and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
