Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
