I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
