So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
...so i touched it.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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