either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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