We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
