I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
