the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
